For years, especially in the 90s, virtual reality meant clunky headsets were required to explore new and noticeably pixelated worlds.

Movies like Demolition Man did not help – Sylvester Stallone frozen in the present day awaking to a future where couples copulate via sleek headsets designed to simulate sex.

Virtual reality sex was seen as a nightmarish fictional future. Sylvester Stallone certainly didn’t want any part of it. That it was so disturbing is no mean feat when you consider Demolition Man’s characters use sea shells in place of toilet paper.

But 23 years later, no-one is laughing about the idea of virtual reality sex, or virtual reality porn for that matter.

In fact, 360-degree, all-action, all-adult content could constitute an industry worth a whopping $1 billion by the time 2050 rolls around. Much of this has to do with incredible technology already at our fingertips.

Virtual reality gaming platforms like Oculus Rift have been co-opted to move from offering incredible 3D gaming to some of the most intense and immersive sexual fantasy scenarios you could ever imagine. Yes, including that one, you filthy swine.

It’s been a long wait, but suddenly we’re approaching a world where virtual reality porn could become mainstream fare.

For companies like XXX site PornHub, it’s been a case of playing the waiting game for the development of these platforms.

Virtual sex

“VR porn has been on our radar for some time,” PornHub vice president Corey Price explains. “We’ve kept a close watch on the development of virtual reality, and wanted to offer our fans an opportunity to experience it first-hand.”

The result is the first completely free Oculus Rift-based porn service, available to the website’s 60 million daily users.

Not that PornHub are the only ones jumping on the VR bandwagon, with any number of websites now offering the chance to engage in adult antics via an advanced headset.

“Teledildonics have started making it possible to connect the virtual reality experience with a heightened sexual experience”

Yet for adult entertainment companies, this is only the beginning.

“Future innovations will attempt to provide users with deeper immersion,” Price says. “Users want to feel as though they’re a protagonist within the scene they’re watching. They want that gratifying connection.”

Defined as part of what he terms “unparalleled interconnectivity”, Price foresees a time when VR porn will go beyond simply putting a headset on and pulling your trousers down.

Dildos are going to get in on the action.

“Teledildonics have started making it possible to connect the virtual reality experience with a heightened sexual experience,” says Price. “It’s just a matter of time until there is total interconnectivity and users are having virtual sex with their favourite porn stars.”

The thumbs up

Now, it might be prudish to suggest, but the idea of having virtual sex with a porn star could be construed as a little sordid.

At the very least, you have to wonder whether such technologies will appeal to the more traditional wankers out there.

It’s a morality that’s definitely crossed Price’s mind, given the plethora of more traditional pornographic content on PornHub – if you can call anything involving tugging “traditional”.

“more and more people will begin to adopt virtual reality as their main form of adult entertainment consumption”

While he admits virtual reality porn has the potential to usurp video as the go-to destination for online pleasure seekers, PornHub will not be deleting its back catalogue just yet.

“As the industry continues to evolve in accordance with emerging technologies, more and more people will begin to adopt virtual reality as their main form of adult entertainment consumption,” Price predicts. “While I think virtual reality will play a significant role within the industry moving forward, I think there will always be a place for traditional content.”

Virtual reality porn looks like it is here to stay, but don’t expect to see point-of-view experiences replacing more traditional fare any time soon.

Instead, it’s likely to sit alongside standard videos as another option on the ever-expanding menu of pornographic curiosities designed to cater to every taste.

Virtual reality porn could take things to a whole new level for XXX filmmakers, actors and digital platforms as we know them.

Now if we could just figure out how those three fucking seashells worked…

Welcome to the brave new world of virtual reality porn

Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio has vowed to keep modelling until she’s 50.

Now aged 34, the Brazilian beauty says she intends emulating Cindy Crawford, who recently announced her retirement when she hit her half-century.

Ambrosio, who began modelling in her early teens, said: “I started modelling at a very young age. I thought it would all end by the time I was 20. Now I’m almost 35 and coming up to my 20^th year in the industry.

Speaking to The Edit, Ambrosio continued: “Although there might eventually come a time when I want to focus on other areas in my life, if I manage to keep going until I’m 50 like Cindy Crawford, then great. You might die tomorrow after all, so why make decisions about what you will and won’t do now?”

Keeping Secrets

The Victoria’s Secret veteran credits her fiancé Jamie Muzur for helping stay in shape, as he persuaded her to become interested in going to the gym.

Mother of two Ambrosio said: “It wasn’t until I did my first Victoria’s Secret show that I started exercising. Even when I got pregnant with my daughter and moved to California, I couldn’t understand this lifestyle my fiancé had. For him, exercise was physical and mental at the same time. Going to the gym was his friend, whereas it had always been an enemy for me.

“Now that it’s a healthy, normal part of my daily routine, my kids will grow up seeing it in the same way, and I love that.”

If being a gym bunny means we can keep seeing Ambrosio on the catwalk for another 16 years, you won’t find us complaining.

Ambrosio was also in the news this week when her fellow Brazilian model Adriana Lima denied the pair had started a feud with Victoria’s Secret newcomers Gigi Hadid and Kylie Jenner.

Here’s to 16 more years of Alessandra Ambrosio

Kourtney Kardashian appears to have inadvertently channeled a James Bond classic for her latest photoshoot.

She’s the new face of skincare and cosmetics range Manuka Doctor, and to mark the occasion she’s been smothered in gold paint dust a la Shirley Eaton in Goldfinger.

The same fate won’t befall the eldest Kardashian, though. She’s actually covered in purified bee venom and manuka honey – apparently ideal for acne, dryness and ageing skin.

“I have been using the Manuka Doctor honey line for many years… I couldn’t have wished for a better partnership,” Kardashian said, while presumably beckoning Sean Connery into her web of sin.

“I am an advocate of products that use natural ingredients. I am incredibly excited to have this opportunity to work with a brand I believe in.”

Manuka spokeswoman Nicola MacFarlane revealed that Kardashian will be supporting their products for the next two years – which, hopefully, will result in further fuel for our tenuous Goldfinger-style puns.

Paint job

“When we heard that Kourtney was a fan of our products and a believer in our brand philosophy and approach, we knew that she was the ideal choice for our global ambassador,” MacFarlane said. “Her track record of believing in natural products that are backed by science, along with her position as a pop culture icon and committed mum, makes her incredibly relatable to our consumers worldwide.”

For those of you who’ve somehow managed to miss Goldfinger, this was the third James Bond outing and cited by some as the definitive 007 outing.

Sean Connery’s bid to thwart the titular crime boss kicks off with him seducing his girlfriend Jill Masterson (Shirley Eaton). As revenge, Goldfinger covers her entire body in gold paint, causing death by asphyxiation.

Not content with instigating that, Bond then encounters Jill’s sister Tilly and is responsible for her death at the hands of Goldfinger’s goons. Solid proof that James Bond is an absolute shit and will not be anywhere near the Masterson family’s Christmas card list.

Kourtney Kardashian goes topless in gold paint, beckons you to enter her web of sin

Kelly Brook has given one of the most stylish performances of her career – while drunkenly doing karaoke.

Brook has posted a video on Instagram of her singing along to Madonna’s Like A Virgin while trying to recreate the song’s video… at the same time as sipping champagne and trying not to get blown over by a gust of wind.

The video was taken during the birthday party of a friend of Brook’s, as she let her previously unknown karaoke skills to the fore.

 

A video posted by Kelly Brook (@iamkb) on Apr 6, 2016 at 6:24am PDT

It’s not the first time the 36-year-old has sung on film, though, as Brook previously sang Santa Baby for Love magazine’s 2013 Christmas campaign. That showed Brook in her more traditionally stylish pose as she crooned the classic festive tune in her lingerie.

Former Celebrity Juice regular Brook also covered Beyonce’s tune Party on Keek the same year, but has kept her vocal talents to herself until her Instagram sharing.

Away from Instagram, Brook has kept her career fairly low-key of late, having been more in the limelight for her relationship with model Jeremy Parisi. The couple have yet to confirm whether they’re engaged, but Brook has been sporting a big-old diamond ring of late. So, y’know, sorry fellers and all…

Aside from showing she’s a good sport on Celebrity Juice, Brook was in the sitcom One Big Happy last year, but her IMDB page doesn’t list any upcoming acting roles. Previously, Brook starred in Smallville, Deuce Bigalo: European Gigolo and – but of course – Piranha 3D.

She also played herself in Moving Wallpaper, the under-rated ITV sitcom about a rubbish soap opera, Echo Beach, created by veteran EastEnders writer Tony Jordan.

So maybe casting directors should give Brook another go: if she can maintain her dignity while trollied on champagne and with the wind behind her while belting out Madonna, then she must be a decent actress.

Watch: Kelly Brook is quite like a virgin

UFC might be all about fighters beating seven shades of shit out of each other, but the sport has a touch of class thanks to Arianny Celeste.

For those uninitiated, Celeste is a ring girl who enters the Octagon between rounds to signify the number for the upcoming bout. She has her fair share of fans – 420,000 Twitter followers and a staggering 2.1 million fans of her Instagram feed.

Here are five quickfire facts on Celeste to get you up to speed on the Queen of the Octagon.

1

She has brains to match her beauty

Lingerie lover

A sports freak from an early age, Celeste grew up in Nevada and attended the University of Nevada Las Vegas where she majored in Fitness Management and Nutrition. Her exotic looks are down to the Mexican and Filipino genes that run in the family. Her real name also happens to be Penelope; Arianny was the nickname she adopted as a kid.

2

She’s a familiar face on TV Stateside

Round 1

Since joining the UFC in 2006, Celeste has parlayed her Octagon fame into magazine shoots and TV presenting gigs. Most recently she was the co-host of car show Overhaulin’, serving a two-year stint before the show ended last year.

3

She’s played Princess Leia and Catwoman

In a move to fulfil every horny teen boy’s fantasy, Celeste has portrayed both Star Wars icon Princess Leia and Catwoman in a couple of made-for-web short films released in 2013. A does-what-it-says-on-the-tin video Arianny Celeste is Princess Leia! can be seen here, while Batman v Catwoman is here. Hollywood beckons…?

4

She’s been feuding with Ronda Rousey

Fighter

Cross ‘Rowdy’ Ronda Rousey at your peril. Celeste has been brave enough to engage in a bitter feud with the former women’s champ. When Celeste ranked higher than Rousey in Maxim’s Hot 100 for 2012, the later said: “It would have been really funny if I’d beaten Arianny Celeste… Like, ‘Ha-ha, it’s your job to show your tits — I do that better than you!’ Maybe next year. She’s only getting older, and I’m reaching my prime.”

Celeste fired back calling Rousey a “bully”: “It blows my mind that someone who doesn’t even know me continuously picks on me. And that’s all I see her as: a big bully.”

5

She loves her fans

Fan love ! ❤️❤️❤️ Thank u for your amazing art and for just being U! I appreciate u! @sga23 @meganclarkart @sashacapitan @kclrtfm

A photo posted by Arianny Celeste UFC® (@ariannyceleste) on Jan 23, 2016 at 8:40pm PST

Part of the reason Celeste is so popular on social media is her dedication to her fanbase. Where some celebs are ‘broadcast only’, Celeste engages with her followers and it only endears her to them more. Take, for instance, her love of fan art and the above repost of the pics above. Don’t go changing, Arianny.

Queen of the Octagon: Arianny Celeste is your reason to watch UFC

Margot Robbie gives a sizzling performance in the latest trailer released for Suicide Squad.

The sneak peek of the much sought after film was shown at the MTV Movie Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday night. 

Robbie, who plays Harley Quinn in the film, stars in the new trailer beside Cara Delevingne and Jared Leto. 

In the promo, Harley causes quite a stir when she strips off down to her underwear while all jaws drop to the floor around her.

The prison guard tells them: “This is the deal. You disobey me; you die. Try to escape; you die. Irritate or vex me…”

Harley interrupts putting her hand up: “I’m know to be quite vexing. I’m just forewarning you…”

He doesn’t react, finishing his sentence: “You die”.

Attention

Robbie has become a box office sensation since her incredible Wolf of Wall Street performance and she also built up a significant following on social media with her Instagram followers standing at nearly 2 million. 

Here are some of the best from the Aussie stunner. 

1

 

That awkward moment when.. You try to leave the @vanityfair shoot with the live props #VFbts Who’s got this months issue?

A photo posted by @margotrobbie on Jul 14, 2014 at 4:50am PDT

2

 

Last night was too much fun

A photo posted by @margotrobbie on Feb 23, 2015 at 7:18pm PST

3

 

I think I died and went to heaven @elnidoresorts

A photo posted by @margotrobbie on Oct 31, 2015 at 4:32am PDT

4

 

WTF! Press starts today @paramountpics #whiskeytangofoxtrot

A photo posted by @margotrobbie on Feb 19, 2016 at 6:34am PST

5

 

Most eventful interview to date in this months copy of @elleusa

A photo posted by @margotrobbie on Jul 13, 2015 at 5:13pm PDT

Margot Robbie strips off for new Suicide Squad trailer

Emily Ratajkowski has hit the headlines a fair amount of times in the last few weeks – be it teaming up with Kim Kardashian to stick two fingers up at body shamers or posting some risque shots for a new campaign. She knows how to cause a stir.

The gorgeous 24-year-old has her legion of fans online who will be no doubt delighted with her latest campaign for Express One Eleven’s new swimsuit. 

The model-turned-actress took a swim in a luxurious pool wearing a stylish white one-piece with a revealing mesh chest piece.

Sizzling

The American model is flawless in her latest shots but this isn’t the only time where she has impressed. Here are 10 of the best Emily Ratajkowski.

1

Modern feminists or narcissistic irritants?

2

Crown jewels

3

“I’ve written an essay”

4

Stomach flashing

5

 

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on Apr 2, 2016 at 12:26pm PDT

6

 

What to wear tonight? #PFW

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on Mar 9, 2016 at 10:49am PST

7

 

Night

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on Feb 23, 2016 at 11:35pm PST

8

 

Real Friends/No More Parties in LA @babsknapp

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on Jan 24, 2016 at 1:32pm PST

9

 

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on Jan 19, 2016 at 10:31pm PST

10

 

New digitals for @dnamodels

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on Nov 16, 2015 at 10:21am PST

Emily Ratajkowski strips down to white swimsuit

Geordie Shore’s queen of the jungle Vicky Pattison is hotter than the sun as the new face of Anne Summers’ swimwear range.

Pattison has been unveiled as the brand’s newest ambassador with a shedload of new photos showing of her killer bod.

The reality TV star isn’t averse to a bit of a tipple, so aptly each item in her ‘Summer of Love’ range is named after a cocktail.

“There is a style to suit every body shape, and I love the fact that they are named after cocktails.

Red hot

“The bright monokinis, red hot swimsuits and catwalk-inspired cover-ups are perfect for taking you from the pool to the party – which is exactly what I look for in swimwear,” Pattinson said.

Pattison added that “feeling confident in a bikini is not about what size you are”.

“It comes from within,” she said. “So if you have to go to the gym or train or eat right before you on holiday – if that’s what makes you feel confident then great, but if you have to have a spray tan or get your nails done, or get your hair done – whatever it is, whatever works for you, do it.

“Don’t get hung up on being a size 8 or a size 16, just get the perfect bikini for your shape and size.

The 28-year-old will make her return to TV on 5Star tonight as the host of game show Strip Date. The concept? A singleton must give their potential partner a makeover to mould them into their dream date.

Vicky Pattison is red hot as the new face of Ann Summers swimwear

Selena Gomez has stripped down for her latest photoshoot with the American siren posing for GQ in the new shots. 

The 23-year-old was the subject of a retro – 70s vibe style shoot with some classy photos.

The American siren will hit cinemas soon in the raunchy comedy Neighbours 2: Sorority Rising but before that Gomez will be on your screens quite a bit. 

Topless

Pose

Model

Gomez will be the cover star of May’s issue of GQ and it comes on the back of her trending on social media for the upcoming Carpool Karaoke segment with Late Late Show host, James Corden. 

The chat show star made a big announcement with his first Instagram post announcing that Selena Gomez will be next up on the hit segment that has taken the world by storm.

In the post Corden can’t conceal his excitement at teaming up with Gomez.

He said on the social photo sharing site: “Getting a lift to work with this little chaffinch today! This is my 1st Instagram post!!!!”

 

Getting a lift to work with this little chaffinch today! This is my 1st Instagram post!!!!

A photo posted by James Corden (@j_corden) on Apr 13, 2016 at 10:46am PDT

Corden couldn’t look more excited to see Gomez in his car for a sing along. There’s no word yet on when the segment air but fans of Corden and Gomez will be on tenterhooks waiting to find out.

The former child star is no stranger to social media having built up a good following on her sultry Instagram feed.

 

74 ❤️

A photo posted by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on Apr 9, 2016 at 7:24pm PDT

 

A photo posted by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on Mar 25, 2016 at 6:05pm PDT

 

tb to a sweet, small house in TX

A photo posted by Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) on Mar 23, 2016 at 6:05pm PDT

Selena Gomez strips down for new photoshoot

If you think Miranda Kerr and Wonderbra are a match made in heaven, then her latest shoot for the underwear giant proves you 100% correct.

The Australian model showed off her killer Kerr-ves (sorry, so very sorry) in new photos from Wonderbra’s 2016 campaign. Supposedly a new range just for spring, these snaps feel more suited to a sizzling hot summer.

Kerr’s new Wonderbra photos see her sprawled across a bed, somehow managing to make a cardigan look sexy and slipping into a see-through top to show off her black lingerine.

Oh, and there’s a casual poolside bikini photo that prove her legs are longer than the M42.

Kerr is continuing to keep her 8.9 million Instagram followers entertained with a mix of kooky videos, behind the scenes shots and selfies that makes the rest of the internet’s efforts look like one big collective Quasimodo.

Making cardigans looks sexy

In a recent cover interview for Harper’s Bazaar, Kerr divulged the secret to a good snap.

“It’s all about the light,” the 32-year-old explained. “Everyone’s face is different, but I like the light either right behind me or in front of me. Then I always put the camera up a little higher than me, so I’m looking up and keeping my chin down.”

Don’t be afraid of filters, either. Kerr likes to give a Wes Anderson-style hipster spin to her photographs.

“I used to be obsessed with Sierra, but now I’m obsessed with Valencia because the border looks like a polaroid,” she explained.

Recently Kerr has been jet-setting, stopping by in Tokyo this week to launch Japanese beverage giant Suntory’s KURO (Black Ooo-long Tea) campaign.

She even got given her own special Kerr-customised Bento box to mark the prestigious occasion. Don’t believe us? Feast your eyes on the grand unveiling in the video below… 

Miranda shows off killer Kerr-ves in new Wonderbra shoot

Forget about Ms Jolie-Pitt for a second, there’s a new Angelina in town and she’ll rocket straight to the top of your favourite Angie list.

Yes, ahead of Jolie, Harmon, Dickinson and even Merkel (let’s be honest, even her nearest and dearest would think twice before calling her “Angie”).

Your new number one is Angelina Kirsch, a German plus-size model who’s embracing her size and has self-branded as “Curvy Model”.

Like Iskra Lawrence and Ashley Graham, Kirsch thinks that women have to feel positive about the way they look regardless of their shape or size. Forget about supposed conventions, for Kirsch it’s all about feeling comfortable in yourself.

This is a sentiment we can all get behind.

Union Jack

Kirsch will further endure herself to the British population with an Instagram snap to solidify Anglo-German relations. Seen above, she’s posing on a bed clad only in a Union Jack wooly jumper and cosy socks. Take that, Geri Halliwell.

“I am glad that I do not have to go hungry. That would be nothing for me.”

Kirsch’s Instagram feed is also packed with the kind of motivational quotes that should be slapped up on posters and meme’d forevermore.

“You’re perfect,” she wrote in her latest post. “No matter what kind of body shape you have, feel good and beautiful and sexy in your skin! We are all different so let’s be proud and celebrate the diversity.”

In a recent interview with Bild, Kirsch admitted that saying no to food is not something she’s in favour of.

“I am glad that I do not have to go hungry. That would be nothing for me,” she explained.

Kirsch is already a fairly big star in her native Germany, filming adverts and posing front and centre for various shoots.

How long before she’s making waves elsewhere?

Move over Jolie, here’s your new favourite Angelina

Famed for her take no prisoners attitude to pervy admirers who send her solo-loving snaps, Emily Sears has just sent her online following into a frenzy with her latest pictures.

First, the Aussie model went topless in a revealing shoot for fashion agency Lickerish. Then Sears posted some typically sensational Instagram poses. They included a video of Sears in her lingerie – which we’re sharing below, because we’re nice like that.

 

A video posted by Emily Sears (@emilysears) on Apr 17, 2016 at 3:36pm PDT

The double whammy by the 31-year-old came after she famously hit back at an online troll who sent her an Instagram video of him jacking off. When Sears understandably responded “You know what? That’s fucking disgusting,” the dopey troll continued to insist he was in the right by telling Sears: “You love it, you dirty slut.”

As a reminder of “Do you kiss your mother with that foul mouth?”, Sears tracked down the troll’s mum on Facebook and posted her the Instagram exchange, telling her: “Just so you know, this is what your son is up to.” Which is a fantastic nuclear button to press to end a troll.

On top down under

Sears revealed in January that she gets about two dick pics a day from whackjobs who think that’s the classy shortcut to win her over. So Sears has been busy contacting the guys’ girlfriends of what their blokes are up to. “Girls should stick together,” says Sears.

In a disturbing twist, one of the trolls’ girlfriends responded to Sears on Twitter, saying: “I just found out he sent dick pics to four other girls. He hit me when I broke up with him. But thank you – I’m free of him now.”

Sears has 2.8 million Instagram followers, and thankfully not all of them are sad sacks. Remember: please masturbate responsibly.

Emily Sears sizzles in new topless poses

She’s currently enjoying a holiday Stateside with French boyfriend Jeremy Parisi, and the trip has made Kelly Brook come over all nostalgic.

Brook, who is fast becoming the Instagram queen of throwback selfies, has taken a trip back in time to one of her very first photoshoots in Malibu when she was 20 years old.

First Calendar Shoot

The 36-year-old actress and model has recently posted a series of sensational images from previous calendar shoots.

Brook has yet to confirm or deny if she is engaged to kickboxer Parisi, having been spotted wearing a very large diamond ring on her finger last Christmas.

More from Malibu

She was previously engaged to actor Billy Zane before splitting up with him in 2008, and also had a short-lived engagement with fitness freak David McIntosh, which ended in 2014.

Last week, Brook recreated Madonna’s Like A Virgin dance in a hilarious Instagram routine. The video was taken during the birthday party of a friend, and shows Brook belting out Madge’s hit song while sipping on champagne and travelling along a canal in a speedboat.

Brook, who is a Celebrity Juice regular and last year starred in US comedy One Big Happy, also gave beekeeping a shot last week, posting a picture of herself in protective gear near her home in Kent.

Honey

Paying a visit to Bray’s Bees, Brook described the outing as “the perfect day” as she uploaded a few snapshots to social media, writing: “Perfect Day to Start our Bee Keeping #KentlivingwithKelly

“We loved our Bee Keeping Lesson from Brays Bees!!!!! #KentlivingwithKelly Poor Jezza!!!! He wanted to go to the Gym.”

On holiday in Malibu with Kelly Brook

Donald Trump may be the Republican candidate that poses the greatest threat to America’s civil liberties but it’s his rival Ted Cruz who represents an even bigger threat… when it comes to sex toys.

Details have emerged that Cruz – then solicitor general for Texas – wrote a 76-page document in 2007 calling for the US Court of Appeals to uphold a law banning the sale of dildos, artificial vaginas and other sex toys.

“There is no substantive due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship,” Cruz wrote in the document, uncovered by US news site Mother Jones.

With Cruz back in contention for the Republican Party nomination, however, the document has sparked fresh fears in the sex toy industry and beyond that a Cruz presidency could bring about a nationwide ban on dildos, flesh lights and other pleasure-enhancing paraphernalia.

“He’s a dangerous person and if elected, we will have our own Taliban-like regime that is concerned with how we orgasm.”

Speaking to Loaded, sex toys pioneer Brian Sloan (inventor of the Autoblow 2) spoke candidly about his concerns over Cruz.

“That Ted Cruz wanted to act as the Committee For The Promotion Of Virtue And Prevention of Vice as they have in Saudi Arabia is an affront to all Americans,” fumes Sloan. “On the one hand, Cruz speaks against Islamic extremism, but on the other he wants to prevent us from stimulating our own genitals. And for what? Only because of his own religious beliefs, which the majority of Americans do not share.

“Cruz is a dangerous person and, if elected, we will have our own Taliban-like regime concerned with how we orgasm.”

Cocked and loaded

Painting Cruz as a dildo-based version of Osama Bin Laden, for many in the industry any blanket ban on sex toys could potentially drive customers either underground or into drastic and potentially dangerous alternatives.

Adult Empire sex toy manager Chelsea McCain (no relation to John) certainly thinks so.

“The cucumber and banana business will be booming, luring people to their local farmers markets”

In fact, she thinks things could get a little oral, but not in the way you might have thought.

“There’d be a rise in electric toothbrush sales, and toothpaste sales too – since people will have to buy both so they don’t look suspicious with five styles of toothbrushes to test the different vibration settings,” McCain told Loaded.

It may not be entirely bad news for America though, with both Sloan and McCain predicting one major winner of a sex toys ban: farming.

“The cucumber and banana business will be booming, luring people to their local farmers’ markets,” says McCain.

Very bad for VR Porn

Sloan puts it in slight less poetic terms. “People would have to begin fucking themselves with fruits and vegetables,” he admits.

“There would even perhaps be special clinics that would open and specialise in object removal”

 “Cucumbers would sell out on Valentine’s Day and men would show up to the grocery store to purchase pumpkins at 2am.”

According to the King of Sex Toys, there may even be a few casualties along the way, putting yet more pressure on America’s health care services.

“Oh, there would be a huge increase in unusual objects being removed from vaginas and rectums around the country,” he admitted. “There would even perhaps be special clinics that would open and specialise in object removal.”

Meanwhile, new technologies like virtual reality porn could be stunted at a crucial early stage for sex-based technology platforms. With any ban on sex toys likely to include teledildonics, the online fun could be over before it has even begun.

Proof, if needed, that dildos really do make the world go round.

Exclusive: What a dildo-less America with Ted Cruz as president could look like

UFC isn’t just about grizzled fighters punching each other’s lights out.

The sport has an added touch of glamour thanks to the ring girls who enter the Octagon between rounds to flag the upcoming bouts. Arianny Celeste is already red hot property where this is concerned, but Brittney Palmer has also firmly cemented herself as a firm favourite among UFC fans.

The 28-year-old has been part of UFC since 2012, but she also happens to be a talented painter with a love for iconic rock stars. A quick browse through her official website brings up insanely good watercolours of Mick Jagger, Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon.

It’s Brittney

Her pet dog even happens to be called Hendrix.

“I’ve always been into all types of art. I’m a painter, I’m a professional dancer, and I think mixed martial arts, and the UFC, are such beautiful art forms,” she told Runway Live.

“I didn’t ever dream, or aspire, to be a spokes model for this sport, but once I got into, I’ve stayed loyal to the company and we’ve become a tight knit family.”

She added: “I’ve always been inspired to paint since a young age, my mom said I should have been a child of the 60s or 70s. Jimmy Hendrix was the first music icon I painted, and that’s what I mainly paint. Iconic rock stars from the 60s and 70s.

Dog’s life

“I also do a lot of custom commissioned work as well. I started working as an artist when I was 22… so I feel very blessed to be able to work doing things that I love.”

Palmer also happens to have an avid social media following, with more than 400,000 Twitter fans and close to a million followers on Instagram.

Step into the Octagon with UFC’s stunning ring girl Brittney Palmer

As Ashley Graham continues her bid for world domination, Mahalia Handley looks set to follow in her curves.

Selfridges has picked Aussie model Handley to front its new Body Studio range.

The department store vows its EveryBODY campaign has chosen its models to “represent real women chosen for their strength, personality and presence.” We can obviously get behind that, especially if Handley is involved.

Handy Handley

The 23-year-old has already modelled for The Kardashian Kollection and Topshop. And fronting the high-end chain’s campaign is just the latest blitz on her CV.

“Yes for diversity!” gushed Handley on her Instagram to promote EveryBODY. “I’m so excited to be part of the campaign.”

Handley added she agreed to be part of the campaign for its “Every size is beautiful” message. As well as a sack of cash, presumably. “Mixed-race, plus-sized women are also beautiful women,” said Handley, who is of Maori and Irish heritage. “Women drive so much confidence and power from models wearing swimsuits and lingerie. It’s massively important that I keep spreading a confident and powerful message, and continue to represent a very real diversity in fashion.”

 

A photo posted by Mahalia Keite Ann Handley (@mahaliahandley) on Apr 6, 2016 at 1:52am PDT

Starting to sound just a tad like she was over-egging it a bit, Handley continued: “Don’t stop chasing your dreams. Work hard and celebrate your body! I can’t begin to express how much this message means to me. I cried like a baby when I saw it.”

Although models like Handley and Graham are succeeding, Handley says she’s still faced prejudice for her size from the fashion industry.

“I still find it hard to see many women like me in the mainstream media,” says Handley. “That makes me think that, if I can’t see them, then I have to become them. The message I’d like to convey to women around the world is that everyone is beautiful.”

Mahalia Handley is a plus for Selfridges

Chances are you’ve never heard of Vita Sidorkina, but the Russian model will now be firmly on your radar thanks to her latest photoshoot.

In a set of snaps hot enough to thaw any St Petersburg winter, Sidorkina has posed poolside for Cameron Hammond and Treats! Magazine.

Forget your new-fangled digital cameras, Hammond’s shot Sidorkina on old-fashioned 35mm film – something to please the Quentin Tarantino-like celluloid purists out there.

Sidorkina is a 22-year-old who hails from Khabarovsk in Russia. At 17 she moved to New York to launch a career in modelling and has hit the runway at NY Fashion Week and multiple Victoria’s Secret shows. She was even part of this year’s VS swim special edition and is the face of their PINK line.

What’s for breakfast?

“It’s such a big thing for all models and for me. I’m super-excited about it and it’s a big step in my career,” she said.

“Super-energetic, sexy, a healthy lifestyle. That’s what [Victoria’s Secret] bring to the people.”

Just what exactly is the Victoria’s Secret credo? Sidorkina explained: “Super-energetic, sexy, a healthy lifestyle. That’s what they bring to the people.”

Moving to NY has done wonders for Sidorkina’s profile, and she’s very much a fan of the Manhattan lifestyle.

“New York is one of the most fashionable cities, a lot of events going on. You just don’t have enough time to visit all the events!”

Sidorkina has also graced the pages of Elle, Vanity Fair, Marie Claire, Teen Vogue and Paper, as well as being a keen supporter of the Voss Foundation.

The latter has provided 150 clean water access points and 467 sanitation facilities across seven developing countries – changing the lives of over 100,000 people in the process.

Nicely done, Vita. Nicely done.

Girl on film: Vita Sidorkina sizzles in poolside photoshoot

Rihanna is not often one to just let her music do the talking, as images from her latest video prove.

Never the shrinking violet, Rihanna strips down to just a sheer robe and thong for the racy new video  for new single Needed Me.

And her saucy attire certainly doesn’t leave her in any way vulnerable, as she also packs a pistol as she makes her way around a strip club during the footage.

Don’t mess with me

The 28-year-old is on a mission to track down a murderer in the video, and she’s certainly dressed to fit in with the crowd.

Rihanna teased fans by posting a number of photos to her Instagram account, but it’s probably only a matter of time before the nipple police have them removed from the site.

Luckily, her management also released a number of sensational images to mark the release.

Strut

The video comes to a close in a private room at the back of the strip club, where Rihanna wastes no time shooting a heavily tattooed man dead, firing at him at point blank range.

She then stands over his body as he bleeds heavily.

Rihanna is one of the few artists left who still puts a lot of effort into her videos, and recent releases would suggest that it’s only a matter of time before she resumes her acting career, having starred in such classics as Battleship and Annie.

Earlier this week, Rihanna moved ahead of The Beatles to take second place in the list of musicians who’ve spent most weeks at No 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 in the US.

New album Anti has fared less well in the UK, where it’s only reached No 7 following the confusion surrounding its release date in January.

But Anti’s lead single Work has given Rihanna a total of 60 weeks on top. Only Mariah Carey lies ahead, with 79 weeks.

There’s no accounting for taste sometimes.

Rihanna nearly bares all in new music video

Let’s face it, when it comes to models, you can keep your Cara, Kendall and Suki. The original supermodels were, and still are, in a league of their own.

Christy Turlington, who reigned on catwalks throughout the 90s with the likes of Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell, regularly updates her Instagram account with throwback pictures from the glory days.

Getting lippy

Turlington is 47, but still looks 20 years younger. She’s now a keen marathon runner and yoga advocate but, judging from some of these images, she wasn’t averse to the odd wild night on the town with her supermodel pals back in the day.

Christy regularly posts pictures with Kate Moss, who she endearingly refers to as “Wagon”, and there are many of Naomi Campbell in the days before she developed her penchant for flinging phones at assistants.

Champagne lifestyle

The American supermodel rose to fame in 1989 after fronting Calvin Klein’s Eternity campaign. Last year, she was joined by actor husband Ed Burns for a brand new campaign for the fragrance. 

Turlington, Campbell and Linda Evangelista have long been dubbed the “Trinity” of the modelling world due to the dizzy heights of their success.

Throughout her career, Turlington has appeared on over 500 magazine covers, with W releasing a special issue dedicated to her to mark her 40th birthday. 

Ladies night

She is also a keen writer and has contributed to Marie Claire and Teen Vogue She also counts Bono as one of her best friends, but we won’t hold that against her.

The mother-of-two has been married to Burns since 2003, and is an avid campaigner for maternal health programmes throughout the world.

Last year, Burns revealed the secret to their marriage was “Staying in New York and not moving to Los Angeles.”

He said: “We don’t go out much. We are both super tight with our families and that helps you stay grounded.”

His wife’s sensational looks also probably have something to do with it.

What’s her secret?

Christy Turlington’s Instagram is a treasure trove of supermodel pictures

In February, new model Sarah McDaniel made history when she became the centrefold of the first Playboy not to go nude.

Now, the Instagram star has posed for an even more sensational set of photos for P Magazine.

The 20-year-old pouts to perfection across the eight lingerie shots.

The top says it all

McDaniel is certainly more at home in the magazine than she was on her interview with Stephen Colbert on the comedy chatshow host’s programme in February.

Although McDaniel was able to discuss how her father was the first person to tell her she should accept Playboy’s modelling offer, most of the interview was deeply awkward as Colbert tried to get the model to cover up during their selfie together and asked if she needed duct tape to hold her dress in place.

McDaniel is also famous for having different coloured eyes (her left one is blue, the right is hazel in case you’d forgotten) and recently launched her own bikini range with Frankies Bikinis.

The Skyrim fan is also a big fan of David Hasselhoff, which makes it feel as if Baywatch producers are missing a trick by not yet casting her in the new movie reboot.

McDaniel has long insisted that her quirky personality on social media is what helped her stand out above other potential models, saying: “I know a lot of people like me for my weird, quirky jokes. I think that means they thought they’d also like my personality, get more in-depth.”

 

A photo posted by Sarah Rose (@krotchy) on Mar 7, 2016 at 11:35am PST

She’s also vowed that she won’t be limited to just modelling, saying: “I have a lot of big plans. I think people should keep their eye on me.”

That’s very easy to do in those P photos.

Playboy history maker Sarah McDaniel gets sexy again